


Not My Concorde

by Burgie



Category: Star Stable Online
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2019-03-29 01:54:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13916871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burgie/pseuds/Burgie
Summary: Anne struggles to bond with the reincarnation of Concorde.





	Not My Concorde

The druids hadn’t listened to Anne’s protests. They hadn’t believed that her darling Concorde was still alive, still breathed the same air, was on this same earth as her, in this realm. And why should they? He was only her Soul Steed, she his Soul Rider, it wasn’t as though there was a magical bond linking them, one that told her that he was alive and in pain, so much pain. Instead, they’d gone out in search of a new Soul Steed for Anne, as though she needed a new one. Anne was left alone, to struggle with the feelings of guilt as her horse cried out for her through their bond. But he was unreachable, shrouded in darkness, hidden from her and even from Linda, who should have been able to find him with the scrying powers of the Moon Circle.

Anne was alone when she finally felt Concorde’s tether to her snap, his bond to this world vanish, his life force flying from her like mist. Anne fell to her knees in the middle of the parking lot, her keys falling from her hands to crash on the ground as her hands came up to cover her eyes. She’d been so close, so close to finding him, to saving him, to having him with her again. And yet… she’d failed him. Failed the one who meant the world to her, just when he needed her the most.

“Concorde,” Anne whispered, her voice cracking, and then she screamed his name to the skies until her voice gave out and all she could do was cry and hate herself, hate her enemy, for taking him from her. For being too late to save him.

Of course, the druids just assumed that Anne had finally come to terms with the fact that her beloved horse was dead. They didn’t know the truth. They couldn’t know the pain, the heartache that came with losing half of her very being. She felt numb, disconnected from it all. She didn’t leave her room for days, instead spending her days staring blankly at the wall or at the water, if someone managed to drag her outside.

“Anne, we have a surprise for you,” said Elizabeth, beaming as she led Anne into a pasture one day. Anne had no idea what day it was, or how much time had passed. Time seemed to have stopped with the loss of her Concorde, her soul. She followed Elizabeth, the druid holding her hand like she was a child, dressed in a stained grey tracksuit with her hair tied back in a messy pony tail. She didn’t look like the princess who had once saved Jorvik, who had once competed in international dressage competitions. Even the blue of her eyes had faded to that of washed-out denim.

There was a horse in the middle of the pasture. At the sight of the white legs, white belly, white chest, grey fur, Anne’s heart leaped. But then, it plummeted again. This foal might look like her horse, yes, but… the connection just wasn’t there.

“What is this?” Anne whispered, her voice hoarse from disuse.

“It’s your Soul Steed,” said Elizabeth, still grinning from ear to ear. “You see, Star Breeds have this amazing ability to reincarnate, and it took this one a while to appear, but I don’t know why.”

“Because he only died recently,” said Anne, her gaze stony as she glared pointedly at the foal. She didn’t want to hate the foal, it didn’t deserve it, but… they were trying to replace her Concorde with this foal. “I keep trying to tell you.”

“Anne, Concorde died a long time ago,” said Elizabeth gently, placing her hand on Anne’s shoulder and looking at her with a solemn green gaze. “He died while the Dark Riders were trying to get him to Pandoria.”

“No, he didn’t!” Anne snapped, glaring at Elizabeth. “He died a few months ago, while I was in the parking lot of a bloody train station trying to get to him! I kept trying to tell you, but you wouldn’t listen!”

“Yes, that is when the truth hit you, when he died for you,” said Elizabeth. Anne growled and stormed off, stomping across the pasture to climb over the fence and run away, across the fields.

Anne didn’t know how long she spent in that field, sitting with her back against a tree, her knees drawn up to her chest. Her shoulders shook with sobs as tears dripped down her face, not ruining her makeup because there was none to ruin. Without Concorde, she didn’t feel like doing anything, let alone making herself look pretty.

After a time, Anne felt something prodding at her mind. Something so achingly familiar, and yet… it wasn’t him. A small shape, one with gangly legs and a tiny, all-too-familiar face, stumbled over to her, nudging her hand that rested on her knees.

“Go away,” Anne whispered. The foal continued to nudge her, like it was looking for its mother’s teat. “Go away, I said!” She shoved at the foal, and it stumbled away with a confused little whinny that tugged at her heart. The corners of Anne’s mouth tugged downwards, and she began to cry again. He sounded just like Concorde had as a foal, back when she’d first met the Jorvik Warmblood that she hadn’t wanted because he’d been so ordinary. And now, she’d give anything to have him back.

The foal didn’t go away, much to Anne’s annoyance. She frowned as the small creature began to graze a little way away from her, flicking his small white tail. Anne closed her eyes, her lips trembling, trying not to think of another little white tail that had so often been tied up in a bob. She wondered if it had still looked like that when he’d died.

“Sun,” a small voice in her mind whispered, and Anne’s eyes flew open as she scrambled back against the tree. The foal looked just as confused, his ears pinned back, his nostrils flaring.

“Get out of my head!” Anne yelled at him, and the foal neighed as if in reply.

“Sun!” the foal repeated, stamping the ground with a little hoof. “My Sun!”

“Well, you’re not my Concorde!” Anne snapped, and got to her feet, walking away from the tree. The foal followed, too stubborn to leave her alone. Just like someone else. Anne closed her eyes against the painful memories. How Concorde had followed her around the stables, how he’d done everything but pick up his saddle and place it at her feet when she hadn’t wanted to ride him. How he’d lifted up into a shaky levade to convince her to take up dressage. Anne looked back at the foal, a moment of weakness that she regretted instantly. The foal bowed, extending one leg as he folded the other under himself, and Anne felt her heart break in two. It really was him. Not him, but… him.

Elizabeth looked up, surprised, when Anne returned to the stables, the foal trotting along behind her.

“Anne! Now, I know that this may take some adjusting to, and of course, you can mourn your horse, but-“ Elizabeth started, but Anne cut her off with an icy glare that was a relief to see.

“I feel like you bought me a new puppy because my old one died,” said Anne. “And, if this were under any ordinary circumstances, I’d tell you to get stuffed. But I’m not stupid, contrary to the popular jokes. I know that I need to bond with him, for the sake of our stupid mission.” Her lips trembled, but she pursed them. “And I will. I can’t promise that our bond will be the same, but I’ll allow it to happen.” The foal nuzzled her hand, but she didn’t smile. She also didn’t push it away.

“Oh, good,” said Elizabeth. “And of course I don’t expect you to bond with him right away, at least, not emotionally. But just try.”

“Will I need to train him?” asked Anne. “Because if I do, that’ll put us back a good few months. Or years.”

“Unfortunately, yes,” said Elizabeth. “But we hope that, in training him, it’ll strengthen your bond with him.”

“Okay,” said Anne, and nodded. “I’ll come by tomorrow. Early. We have a lot of work to do, and I want to get it done quickly. I want out of this whole stupid destiny thing, even if it means I have to stab that squid in the heart.”

“We all do,” said Elizabeth, her eyes wide with concern and sympathy. “Believe me, Anne.”

“I’ll believe you when you’ve lost a part of yourself that you’re never going to get back,” said Anne. “I didn’t sign up for this, but I sure as hell am going to find a way out. Even if it kills me, and it just might.”

As she’d said, Anne visited the foal every day. She trained him, and began to talk to him while she lunged him and exercised him. She told him about her Concorde, the horse who had come into her life unwanted and had changed her life in ways that she’d never expected. The horse that had completed her, until his death had torn her open, shattered her heart until it was nothing. When she cried, she let the foal butt his head against her arm and press against her. He wasn’t her Concorde, but he also wasn’t the enemy. Even if his very being, the feeling of his soul, made her believe, just for a moment, that her Concorde was still alive.

But he wasn’t.


End file.
